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The Zero Logs

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About this blog

Funny, informative, clever, cool, and... other adjectives. I'm just having fun doing what I love; making an ass of myself.

Entries in this blog

 

No Hope? Odds Are Bad? Challenge Accepted.

Wow! over 110k views on this blog and still going strong despite the fact that I haven't written anything in months! So before I get into anything else I really want to say "Thank you" to everyone who reads (and apparently continues to read) The Zero Logs. I had a LOT of fun with the blog and, believe it or not, I sometimes miss playing those really bad games I wrote about. They were awful as video games, but they were all perfect examples of what NOT to do when creating a game. Even though I wi

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My Top 5 Underappreciated Games of This Generation

Some people may have already guessed that I’m not the “average” gamer. Average, in this case, meaning I like my games having more substance than something like mother*cking Call of Duty. Seriously, you people who wait in line for hours to play the exact same game you played a year ago are causing a huge decline in quality. Remember the crash of 1983? It was YOUR mentality that did it! Anyway, since you know so well about the games I hate and I always talk about the games I love I figured it was

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This Month’s FAIL Brought To You By: Cover Art

“Never judge a book by its cover.” You’ve heard the phrase before and blah, blah, blah. I’m not here to lecture anyone about why you shouldn’t be judgmental, but let’s be honest with each other. We ALL judge everything based on first appearances. They matter, after all. That’s why you always want to look your best during job interviews and whatnot because you know the guy conducting the interview is going to be scrutinizing the way you look before you can even start spewing out the soulless

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My Pet Project

You guys may not be aware of this, but writing is my biggest passion. I've never been much of a reader (ironically enough), but I learned a lot about storytelling through the shows and movies I watched and the games I played growing up. Even now I'm learning more and more about great storytelling and how to piece an interesting plot together. Which brings me to the reason for this blog post tonight. When I was 11 years old I wrote a short story out of sheer boredom. The grammar was terrible

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Today's "Cog in the Machine"

Last week's test podcast for "Cog in the Machine" was actually a lot of fun to record and edit (also tedious) and I'm definitely going to do another episode, but after listening to the one I recorded earlier this week I decided I REALLY wasn't happy with how it turned out, so there isn't going to be one for today. If anyone actually liked the first one and was waiting for the new episode I apologize for the delay. Honestly I'd rather put out a good quality episode late instead of putting one I

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Wednesday Rant: You Damn Kids!

There comes a time in one’s life when inner reflection becomes inevitable and a longing for days gone by whips up feelings of nostalgia for simpler times. Everyone will reach this point and hate that time and life don’t have pause or rewind buttons. Then comes the cynical phrases/stories we’ve heard from our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and every other elder we’ve ever met. Well… I slammed into that wall known as age a couple of weeks ago and it’s my turn to finally say the words I never wanted

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Mobile vs. Handheld; The Portable Battle

So unless you’re blind, deaf, and dumb you’ve most likely noticed that smartphone and tablet usage has increased dramatically over the last couple of years. If you read this blog then you more than likely own a smartphone and have probably experienced the type of gaming sessions possible thanks to Angry Birds, Cut the Rope, Fruit Ninja, and whatever other weird games exist on it. Angry Birds was my first mobile gaming experience and it really opened my eyes to the possibilities mobile gaming can

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Cog in the Machine - My First Podcast

Well, for more than a year I've been wanting to host my own podcast. I bounced around different ideas, struggled to figure out who I could bring on as co-hosts or if I could do the whole thing myself, threw the project in the recycle bin at least half a dozen times and resurrected it half a dozen more, but now FINALLY here it is. At first I wanted to try something along the lines of a radio talk show, but then I realized something like that requires structure and a better idea of current events.

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The Gamer Spectrum

These days everybody can identify themselves as a gamer of some kind. From hardcore games like Final Fantasy and Call of Duty to mobile games like Angry Birds and Fruit Ninja there’s a wide variety of gamers who like or hate certain games for their own reasons which can be shallow or deep depending on a lot of things. I was working on a photoshoot today and while I was taking a break I got to play some kind of weird pipe connecting game on an iPad Mini. The owner is in her 50’s and if she’s ever

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The Benefits of Video Games

“Video games are a waste of time!” “They’ll rot your brain!” “You’ll NEVER accomplish anything if you play games.” As gamers we’ve all had these insulting phrases thrown in our faces from everyone to our friends and family to our teachers and politicians and through the years we’ve learned to shrug them off. It’s true that gaming can be time-consuming and seemingly void of any worthwhile qualities, but the same thing can be said for ANY hobby. I’ve been told time and time again my entir

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Telltale's The Walking Dead Game and Me

Like a lot of people these days I’m obsessed with The Walking Dead. I started reading the comics a couple years ago and as an intellectual property I noticed straight away that it had a LOT of potential. So when the time came for it to be adapted into the live-action fray I figured the movie probably wouldn’t live up to what the comics had done. Then I found out that it was being made into a TV show instead and I ended up confused about how they would pull off putting something so violent on tel

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Games I Miss

So last week I was sitting around the house with my cousin and brother rummaging through the PlayStation Store when we came upon Parasite Eve in the Classics section. For whatever reason we started going through all the ported games dating back to the old school Sega Genesis days and I think each of us came across a few that made us reminisce about other games we played growing up and every time we found something that struck a chord we’d always say “I miss playing [insert retro game title here]

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Your Culture Has Evolved!

Christmas Day 1989 is the day that changed my life forever. For weeks leading up until that point I kept asking my parents for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles blimp toy and a set of turtle figures to go along with it. What I originally asked for was much cheaper and less distracting than what I ended up with, but for whatever reason fate decided to plant a very different idea into the minds of my parents. I didn’t get my blimp or the turtles that year. Instead, when I tore the wrapping paper of

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Gamer Debate: Who Won E3 2012?

So E3 came and went and now that the initial wide starry-eyed effect has passed I can finally say something about it without succumbing to the fanboyism that the event always has on people. This isn't going to be a best/worst of, though everyone is free to say what they felt deserved what kind of accolades, but if I decide to do one of those I don't think the "best" list would be very long and it'd definitely be pretty obvious. There were plenty of failures and WTF moments on all sides (What's u

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This Month's FAIL Brought To You By: Best Buy (Part Two)

Last week, we talked a little about some of the things that are wrong with Best Buy and where they've failed... and continue to fail out of pure greed. So, let's move on to part two of "This Month's FAIL" featuring Best Buy! Treating Your Customers and Employees Like Expendable Pieces of Sh*t Yeah, let's go there. We've covered Best Buy's shitty online experience and their retarded recovery plan, so let's dive into the heart and soul of what Best Buy has become: a douchey

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This Month's FAIL Brought To You By: Best Buy

This month I finally get to write the FAIL I've been dying to write for the past two years. If there's one thing a big name corporation doesn't like it's bad press. They all try their best to avoid bad news getting out or they flip it around so it doesn't seem as bad as it actually is, but in the end they always screw something up and word gets out pretty fast. Toss in something that connects billions and billions of consumers together like, oh I don't know, maybe something called the internet a

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The Month's FAIL Brought To You By: You, Me, and the Industry

Every month it becomes more and more of a challenge to find something to FAIL mainly because the subjects tend to be so broad and obvious that the blog pretty much writes itself. This month, though, it was especially hard because I've been catching up on the big games I missed during the end of last year and the beginning of this year (the holiday season). I've been swamping myself with so much gaming goodness that my cynicism is starting to dwindle a bit. Luckily, though, I found something to t

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Gamer Debate: Best Live-Action Movie Adaptation Ever

So it's time again for another round of the new favorite piece of mine: a Gamer's Debate! last time, the topic was the best Sonic game ever made and it really got people engaged. I'm hoping I can strike lightning in a bottle again and pull it off a second time... and then a third... possibly a fourth time after that... what I'm saying is this is here to stay. So, this month I want to talk about something I think I did in a FAIL once and talked about how things spiraled out of control until the e

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This Month's FAIL Brought To You By: Resident Evil

It's been a while, but the time has finally come to FAIL the one series I throw money at more than any other. I've lightly touched on what's wrong with it in the past and dedicated a very early version of these monthly FAILs solely to the movies before the release of the fourth installment. Well, we're now coming up on a fifth terrible movie, I just recently finished playing the somewhat disappointing latest handheld game, a new squad-based shooter is right around the corner, and a fantastic tra

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Zero's Gamer Debate: The Greatest Sonic Game Of All Time

This week I'd like to try something new and different. While I was playing The Bachelor I was also playing Sonic Generations to help offset the crappiness of the game I was actually reviewing. I usually like to play a good game to help me get my mind of the terrible one and I had high hopes for Sonic Generations. Playing the different levels from Sonic's once glorious past made me realize that, even though the series has considerably dropped in quality, it STILL has fans and people that swear th

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This Must Be Why I'm Still Single...

Somehow, "reality" shows have been broken down into three different types of shows. We've got our classic reality shows that follows a person or group of people living their day-to-day lives (The Real World, Jersey Shore, etc.), we've got our business reality where the show is centered around a career (Dog the Bounty Hunter, Pawn Stars, Dirty Jobs), and then we have our competitive reality shows where the whole thing is centered around some game where contestants compete for a prize (American Id

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Zero Updates

So, it's been a little while since the last update on me and I'm sure people are probably thinking to themselves "Did he finally die of alcohol poisoning?" The answer is "Not yet, but I'm probably well on my way to that." Believe it or not, I've actually been more busy than I ever thought I would be and I haven't had much time to play any shitty games to review. Have no fear, because those terrible games are STILL in my Gamefly queue mocking me every time I open the page. Speaking of Gamef

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Absent Zero

First of all, I want to thank everyone for reading/watching The Zero Logs and for the feedback you guys have given me. I still find it hard to believe that my bi-weekly reviews and FAIL pieces have gotten so much attention. Thanks to you guys I've grown and developed new skills that I know I never would've learned if it hadn't been for all of you. Just to give you an idea, as of this moment the previous "This Month's FAIL" has had 6000 hits here on vVv and that is an insane number. Nearly triple

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This Month's FAIL Brought To You By: Capcom....IN VIDEO!

Sorry it took so long to get this done and posted. My workload went from 0 to 800 in a couple of days so it took me forever to set aside enough time to dedicate to this FAIL and I hope everyone likes it as much as the past ones because this time the whole thing is in video! That's right! There is no article to read (except for this)! So, sit back, hit the play button, and enjoy! So, if you like the new format post a comment saying so. If you hate it and want me to go back

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Piss Drinking Isn't The Same Without Kevin Costner

Here I am, yet again. Another month has gone by and, just like last month, I've spent most of my gaming time playing this...thing. If it wasn't for the fact that I offset these terrible pieces of garbage with good games I think I would've gone mentally insane by this point. There are no walls sturdy enough for me to bash my head against that would remove this crap from my memory. I think I should get a lawyer and sue Crave Entertainment and the Discovery Channel for the trauma they've caused me.

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