Video games are my passion. From the first time I played my dad in Mario Kart 64 to my first Gamebattles match, walking on to mainstage at my first tournament and living in a gaming house, all of my most memorable experiences have involved video games.
When I moved to LA two years ago I was introduced to a whole new world of gaming. Tabletop games, board games, roleplaying games and the like.. Interesting. I was actually pretty resistant to trying these out at first. I can remember always wanting to play video games, the stuff that I was more familiar with and didn’t want to touch board games or RPG’s. Once I even walked out of the house before we were about to start a campaign of Numenera because it was so god damn terrifying. My roommates love them, and I always felt guilty if I didn’t play and didn’t want to be that guy. It was up until about a few months ago that I dreaded RPG’s entirely.
But why? Why was I scared or nervous to participate to begin with? Fear. Fear of not doing the right thing. Not knowing the rules. How to roleplay. How to fall into my character. d20 wut? You get the point. So, okay. I’ll give this a shot. In our latest campaign of Pathfinder (Ravenloft) we all went out and bought props/costumes. I figured that I would try to fall into my character a bit more than the last time. I thought the whole thing was going to be really painful, but it actually was pretty fun.. $120 later, lol. I felt like a kid again trying to find just the right short swords, bracers, cloak, etc.
So, a few sessions into the campaign later. I’m fading in and of what’s going on. I (and the group) realize that I’m hardly paying attention. Like, I’m there, but my mind isn’t. This becomes super frustrating for the group, so the DM turns to me and wants me to run the group. This was excruciating. I never realized how indecisive I was. Deliberating sucks. So there I was, around my closest friends, not adding or making their experience any better. I actually made it worse. Eerggh. I feel like shit after and go to bed after everyone leaves.
The following day, I have a conversation with the DM in which I realize that I wasn’t even trying. I had never even committed or given it much effort to get better. I just defaulted to neutral and disengaged. Fuck, I thought. I want to be better. There are some pretty awesome skills that I can develop through role playing. Exercising my imagination, leading, problem solving, communication and probably even more that I haven’t even realized yet.
So, that’s why I’m writing this blog: To embrace my suck. I am going to log my journey of becoming the best roleplayer that I can be. There’s a long road in front of me, but I’m determined.
Our next session is Sunday, January 4th. So far, my strategy has been focused around watching and reading about RPG campaigns and best practices. My next entry will detail the group and our progress so far. If you have any RPG resources, or general advice please send them my way via the comments or through Twitter @vVv_RobZ. Thank you for reading!
Teaser: I’m the Rogue. And our next session we will be embarking on our journey into Castle Ravenloft. Get Excite!
Resource list so far: