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Fail to live a normal life

vVv OrganicBear

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The single most destructive thing you can do to your dreams is try to live a normal life. What is a normal life? It's all those things that take up your time that aren't related to helping you achieve your dreams. Things you do because you feel you're expected to, or because you'll make more money (if being rich isn't your dream), or because they are an entertaining distraction, or because you feel like it's "the next step" in life. And what does it mean for something to be "the next step"? Basically, I like to think of the normal life as a big rut, and the wheel of life goes round and round in this rut as each generation is born, lives, reproduces, and dies. Each turn of the wheel is another life expiring living the normal, ordinary plan that it never chose. For a typical middle-class American, that rut might look something like:

  • Go to school and get good grades,
  • Get into college and get a degree,
  • Use your degree to get a secure, well-paying job,
  • Get married, buy a house, and start having kids,
  • Send the kids to school to get good grades, through college, and support them starting their own careers,
  • Retire if you can afford it and enjoy the last few years of your life doing what you actually wanted.

But beyond just this simple list of a plan for your life, there are the little things that fill our lives. Spend time watching TV, movies, or anime? Not interested in becoming an actor, critic, producer, writer, production crew, makeup artist, etc.? Subject matter not relevant to your passion? Probably shouldn't spend a lot of time doing that.

Spend a lot of time going out to bars or clubs? Not interested in becoming a bartender, promoter, DJ, owner, designer, doorman, bouncer, manager, etc? Not looking for a spouse to fulfill your dream of raising an awesome family? Probably shouldn't spend a lot of time doing that.

Spend a lot of time playing video games? Not interested in becoming a pro gamer, coach, caster, production crew, cosplayer, graphics artist, character designer, etc.? Probably shouldn't spend a lot of time doing that.

Spend a lot of time trying to get laid? Not interested in becoming a porn star, prostitute, brothel owner, pimp, adult sex store owner, porn producer, adult fiction writer, matchmaker, or just being the best lover in the world? Probably shouldn't spend a lot of time doing that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVdy6T6YbRg

The pattern goes round and round. People follow it as if by impulse rather than actual conscious choice. As such, it takes a lot of effort and energy to decide that this isn't the life you want. Contrary to popular belief, your life is already laid out for you from the moment you were born. If you want to live an alternate life and achieve your dreams, then you have to expend enormous energy to jump that wheel out of the rut and consciously direct your energy toward your passion. And event hen you are in constant danger of falling back into the rut. Only through the relentless pursuit of your passion will you escape being trapped in a normal life.

That's not to say that you shouldn't ever have fun. Fun and relaxation are necessary and without them you probably won't be as effective of a person, so definitely set aside time for relaxing and having fun. But if you fill your free time with trying to get laid, then watching Netflix, then playing games, then going out with friends, then getting laid again, then watching Netflix again, while working and supporting yourself, then suddenly all your time is filled with the mundane pieces of life that are just there to help you relax and alleviate boredom occasionally.

Set aside the time to pursue your passion FIRST. Then stick to that plan. Didn't get laid this week? Minor inconvenience. Didn't live your dreams this lifetime? Devastating. Planning to put your passion first is the only way to avoid waking up one day on a path you had no intention of going down and wondering what happened to your dreams.

You had dreams once, but what happened to them? How did you wake up halfway through your life feeling trapped in a marriage that doesn't support you, with children who are your jailers demanding more and more of your time away from your passion, and a job that you go to only to pay the ever increasing pile of bills from the mortgage, cable, kids college fund, etc. And then suddenly you are retirement age, but you can't retire because you never did anything at your safe, secure job that would earn you a promotion and a raise to cover the lifestyle you ended up with. All the money went to the kids, the wife, the house, the Netflix and cable subscriptions, the nights out, the endless games played—but you never got out of silver league. So even at the end of your life you were never able to pursue your dreams.

And that's not to say you couldn't achieve happiness with that kind of life, but was that really your dream? To just be happy frittering away your life aimlessly? Surely there was something you wanted to accomplish, to contribute to the world. More than just "held a steady job, watched netflix, got laid"?

I have one more thing for you to consider before I wrap up this blog post. What if, deciding to live a normal life, things don't go exactly as not-planned? What if you get a girl pregnant one night while trying to just get laid? What if your wife finds herself in a loveless marriage and commits suicide? What if you fall asleep exhausted driving to the job you don't love and end up killing someone? What if the example you set causes a child to become jaded and give up his dreams and become a drug dealer instead? What if it's your child? It's one thing to squander your own life, but can you really be so cavalier with someone else's?

Do all the opportunity costs and squandered time really only add up to your own personal nightmare? What about the difference you were going to make in the world? Who loses out because you never delivered on that dream? Is it just you, or is the world impoverished because watching the next season of Breaking Bad was more important than figuring out the cure for aging? Or the solution to viable renewable energy? Or the artwork that inspires the next generation of artists and defines beauty for this time period? What is your dream worth?

So I leave you with this message: fail to live a normal life. You don't have to leave everything on autopilot. Discover your passion, discover your purpose, and pursue them relentlessly. My own personal mission statement is "No one should have to deal with difficult problems alone", which is the result of experiences I had earlier in my life. My own passion is competitive gaming, ever since I was 5 or 6 years old playing Battle Tanks against my brother on the Atari 2600. Instead of a repetitive rut, your life can look like this:

  • Go to school, but look for opportunities to do things you enjoy until you discover your true passion,
  • Examine your life and discover your purpose. What is more important to you than anything else? Why do you get out of bed in the morning?
  • Go to college if it will help you combine your passion and purpose. Otherwise look for opportunities to get started while you're still in high school.
  • Struggle for a while financially while you pursue your passion and purpose wholeheartedly. It will be worth it.
  • Discover someone else who enjoys their life as much as you and is also actively immersed in their own passion. Become partners in life in a way a normal spouse could never hope to.
  • If your passion or purpose demands it, have children. Help them stay free from the rut of a normal life.
  • Never retire because you love what you do and you've lived a whole and complete life doing exactly what you love.

Sound better than a normal life? I think so, and I hope you do too.

When I was in college, I studied Information Technology in order to get a secure, high-paying job. When I graduated I started working at a company doing work related to the IT field rather than pursuing my dream of working in the gaming industry. My life is very comfortable, but I'm also not content with where I am. I spent a lot of time playing games in the evening, watching anime, and watching movies. I worked out a lot and spent a lot of time talking to guys online trying to find someone to date.

Looking back, my twenties were basically a huge waste of time. I'm now 30 years old and only over the past few years have I started focusing on finding my passion and purpose. The type of life where you live only for your own immediate satisfaction is not fulfilling, at least not for me. You need to find a purpose to serve others and add value to their lives in some way in order to find fulfillment.

Even recently I have struggled with using my time as effectively as possible. For example, I struggle to get to sleep on time a lot of the time. This leads to me being too tired to get meaningful work done the following evening, significantly limiting my effectiveness in terms of what staff work I can accomplish. I've also wasted a lot of time trying to grind staff work every day. I have found that setting aside time on the weekends to play games and spend time with friends and family makes it easier to focus on getting stuff done during the week.

One of the biggest failures I experienced after joining vVv was the death of the Starcraft 2 Division. I lost my passion for the game because I spent all my time doing staff work and wasting time and never took the time to actually play. This is a huge error, because it will inevitably lead to burnout. So finding time to play the game you are most passionate about is a must.

All of the above things I talked about I speak from experience. This isn't all just generic advice, but things I've learned the hard way that I want to share with everyone else so that they don't have to. This is why it's so important to pursue your passion. It's definitely not the easy choice, but compared to the alternatives it's far easier than letting your dreams die. Hope this was helpful.


BoDYRoTx, vVv WaKai, Zedige and 1 other like this


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Normal is only a point of view, you may think that your life is un-normal but you just described the normal life from 20-30 years ago (e.g., The nuclear family). A new normal is very much what you're describing about yourself, kids by the thousands are pursuing gaming, all under the impression that if they dedicate enough time that they'll make it to the top; only to realize that after all those sacrifices it still wasn't enough. Our society is obsessed with meritocracy, and yet we don't like admitting that luck is the major player behind any sort of success. 

 

Maybe it's you who should take a look back on your life and wonder why you're still stuck in the rut of a gaming life. You have been gaming for your whole life; does that make you much different from a farmer who's farming his whole life? Maybe you've become too comfortable with your normal gaming life, invested to much time into it, that you're scared of exploring the unknown and fresh? Why this obsession with passion? You will never feel fulfilled if you live your life by passionate means; it's a hunger that can never be sated. Don't mistake gaming or passion for something new, or an answer to societies troubles. It makes you no different than the nuclear family dad when you put your head down and trudge forward, hoping for a better life... Can't you see the similarities?
 

Krewel, B Easy and WillyWooTang like this

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"Contrary to popular belief, your life is already laid out for you from the moment you were born"

I myself do not believe in this statement. I do not believe that each one of us has predetermined fate, that we are set into a molded outcome. Our cultural and environmental upbringing has a strong influence to help us make decisions however, the ultimate responsibilities I believe comes from us and the actions and decisions that we make. 

 

If you are a firm believer in the Christianity faith according to PSALM 139:16 " Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, everyone one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." It can be interpreted that our fates are already written, but if they were what is the point of having free will to make decisions if our decisions have already been determined?

 

You expressed that during your 20's you felt as though they were a huge waste of time, and only recently you started to find your passion and purpose. Why did you feel that your 20's were a waste of time was it simply because you pursued your IT degree and you chose not to pursue a career trying to attain the status as a professional gamer? The gaming industry needs the IT personal to make it work this could of been used to gain that foothold on gaming industry and go from there. Things are what we make of it, we choose to follow the paths we are on, often they intertwine with each other there is that chance for a do over to take advantage of and do that opportunity you missed, the question is do you take it or continue the one you are on?

 

We all have our innate talents mine I believe cooking, out of high school I had a full ride scholarship to the New England Culinary institute however, I never went instead I chose to honor my father and join the Navy. It was a choice that I made, do I regret making that decision no, were my talents maybe squandered possibly however, I still enjoy cooking and do most of it at the house and even cater for my friends.

 

Will the opportunity come up again for me to have my "do over" would I choose it this time around, possibly and if it doesn't it doesn't. We are who we are for a reason, a combination of our culture, past experiences, the environment we live in, the friends we keep whether or not we choose it up to us also. Our fates are what we make of it and not something that was predetermined for us, We learn as we go and we grow from what we learn, And if we come out of life not knowing then our lives have been wasted.

WillyWooTang and B Easy like this

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A "Normal Life" can not be described as you mention. It is a statement that can not be answered, the key word is Diversity. Think to about these when you describe a Normal life.

 

A Norman Life Style Is Based On Mainly These:

  • Where they raised poorly or rich?
  • How where they treated as a child?
  • Who where the people that they hanged out with?
  • Did they have goals, or did they just did nothing and got everything they wished?
  • Did one work hard to gain there goals an get away from what they where raised in?

 

Each of these things is a key factor to a person life style:

*One could be a thug, parents fighting all the time, no education, dropouts, hangs around gang members, sells drugs, fights

other gangs, or gets in shootings. To them this is normal and how they should live or wish to

*Or was one is born into rich family, never works, spoiled and gets everything they wish, parties all the time, does drugs themselves but no one cares, needs no education, why should they have all the money they could never run out of. So that is to them normal.

-All these things are the key factors is ones thinks what a "Normal Life" is

 

I have to say that the your 20's was your most important time in your life not a waste of your time, actually those are the most important times in your or any persons life. At this age we have to think what do with our life, do we pursue our passion as Krewel mention was cooking or honor is father, or you just say forget about education it's a waste I am going to become a gamer then you realize what money do you have to become that Pro Gamer but now we have no education to a get a job.

 

We all have our own goals or wishes what we want to become. We all must face the fact that we are not all going to become that person we want to be when we were young, If we could all get there we would all be Pro Sport Players, the President, or Billionaires. Some do get there but most do not because of Krewel said honor was more important than his passion for cooking, some would say different. It's all based on what your truly think what will my life be in the future.

 

Krewel I thank you for the time you served in the Navy, and to give up your passion for Honor that is something only a few people would do so. I salute you for that.

 

Think Carefully about these questions to your self when you where 20 now that you are older, all should think about these questions no matter what age:

  1. Was or is was your passion education or gaming?
  2. Would you rather be a gamer or be a person with a great job?
  3. Would you be the person that you are now if you did pursue you wanted?
  4. Would you be a Pro Gamer?
  5. What if you did not pursue your passion to becoming that person?
  6. Would you be playing all the gamers you play now?
  7. What if you could not be a Pro Gamer, now you have no education what do you do now? 

 

Now that you are in your 30's and more mature think carefully if you could change one thing in 20's what would it be?

  • Now re-answer all the question as above:

 

Be honest:

  • What was that one thing you could change?
  • So is your life better or worse?
  • Are you pissed off you did not make that decision?
  • Or are glad that you made them?

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@Krewel I wasn't implying that there was "fate" or trying to make some argument as to free will. What I was trying to get across was that most people don't take the time to really think about and examine their choices in the context of "what do I really want?" There is a milieu of cultural values that we take on by default, things like love, family, security, entertainment in America that we pursue by default unless we really stop to think about our choices.

In my 20s I consider pursuing the IT degree and being sent off-track with regards to my dream to be wasted time because over and over and over again i keep saying that I want to learn Linux better or how to be an admin or how to program better. It never happened. If it was really something I wanted to learn and apply to the gaming industry it would've happened by now. I spent almost a decade bullshitting myself about what I wanted to do simply because it was the easy transition from a background with an IT degree and job experience in the IT security space. In reality I was barking up the wrong tree the whole time and should have been paying more attention to the things I was ACTUALLY doing that gave me a sense of fulfillment instead of trying to pursue a normal, safe, easy transition into IT, which I'm not passionate about.

Also, I could never be a pro gamer. It would never be fulfilling because I can't fulfill my purpose as a pro gamer. Even though competitive gaming is my passion and it's something I love, being a pro gamer is never a choice I would try to make because I need to be doing something that allows me to help others solve difficult problems. However, I can help people solve difficult problems in the gaming industry. I feel like this is what you are saying too with regard to your cooking. You might be very good at it, but in terms of what would create a fulfilling life for you it fell short, so you joined the Navy to fulfill your purpose. That purpose was to honor your father and serve your country (or whatever, I can't really speak to what your purpose is).

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You blame you 20's because you did not learn Linux and become that Admin or making it better but you learn IT instead. There are other ways to learn how to do it:  there are classes that teach it, books you can read about it or just all the stuff you can find on the internet to do it.

Because you it never happened it was because you never made it happen, if you get shut down on something then you keep trying, and just pushing your self to make your goal a reality. How do you think you have your PC, Games, Consoles. All the of this was made by people made a it a dream or goal in there life. They made mistakes or just did not know how they they could do it, but by learning more and more they ended up making what they wished and by doing so they reach their goal.

 

To quit is not an option if you wish to learn we now have the best teacher aka internet. But by just saying screw it because you think its a waste of time you become a quitter

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You blame you 20's because you did not learn Linux and become that Admin or making it better but you learn IT instead. There are other ways to learn how to do it:  there are classes that teach it, books you can read about it or just all the stuff you can find on the internet to do it.

Because you it never happened it was because you never made it happen, if you get shut down on something then you keep trying, and just pushing your self to make your goal a reality. How do you think you have your PC, Games, Consoles. All the of this was made by people made a it a dream or goal in there life. They made mistakes or just did not know how they they could do it, but by learning more and more they ended up making what they wished and by doing so they reach their goal.

 

To quit is not an option if you wish to learn we now have the best teacher aka internet. But by just saying screw it because you think its a waste of time you become a quitter

i wouldn't say thats quitting in a negative way though.  You can easily choose to quit something that isn't healthy.  I quit smoking is that a bad thing :)  Sometimes quitting is good for you if its not healthy, whether that be mentally, emotionally, or physically.

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i wouldn't say thats quitting in a negative way though.  You can easily choose to quit something that isn't healthy.  I quit smoking is that a bad thing :)  Sometimes quitting is good for you if its not healthy, whether that be mentally, emotionally, or physically.

Congrats on quitting smoking :D I always see or hear that is something that is very hard to do.

 

When you mention all the health, mentally, emotions, is something that would come on later. When you are a 20 year old man the sky is your limit: I mean I had a 75% scholarship to FIU majoring in Computer Engineering and on the baseball team. That was cause I worked hard and never gave up to reach my goal of going to one of Florida's best Engineering school and playing baseball. I did not get in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time, but was my 4th. I did that cause I followed my passion and made it a reality, I got it in when I showed them a battle robot that I built by my self and had the power to make a hole in 1/2" sheet of steal, and some aluminum also. It got killed when another robot beat the living shit out it and was no long usable :( , but I have a new robot named Steve and he is fun to mess around with.

 

Back to the main thing:

If he really wanted to learn all this Linux be an Admin and make it better if worked hard to do that, if you fall the first time there is no excuse why you can't do it. Every number that you have shows you how many you have tried: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and so on, and you just stop at 1st shot he just said screw it.

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Congrats on quitting smoking :D I always see or hear that is something that is very hard to do.

 

When you mention all the health, mentally, emotions, is something that would come on later. When you are a 20 year old man the sky is your limit: I mean I had a 75% scholarship to FIU majoring in Computer Engineering and on the baseball team. That was cause I worked hard and never gave up to reach my goal of going to one of Florida's best Engineering school and playing baseball. I did not get in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time, but was my 4th. I did that cause I followed my passion and made it a reality, I got it in when I showed them a battle robot that I built by my self and had the power to make a hole in 1/2" sheet of steal, and some aluminum also. It got killed when another robot beat the living shit out it and was no long usable :( , but I have a new robot named Steve and he is fun to mess around with.

 

Back to the main thing:

If he really wanted to learn all this Linux be an Admin and make it better if worked hard to do that, if you fall the first time there is no excuse why you can't do it. Every number that you have shows you how many you have tried: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and so on, and you just stop at 1st shot he just said screw it.

The thing is I didn't ever really "quit" it was a goal for multiple years. I would always say "I want to learn Linux better" I'd spend a night working on stuff, get bored, and go back to gaming. That's not "giving up after the first try" that's just the reality that you have a choice. Spend your time learning something you feel you "should" learn or spend your time on something you're really passionate about.

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