I haven't made a blog post in a couple weeks. I know, I know, I said daily. Unfortunately, so many things kept getting in the way and I was able to stick to that. However, here I am, making a new post.
First, I would like to give an update on my progression. I have gotten better, and then fallen off again on my abilities in game. I had gotten to a point where I was killing more than dying and I felt like I had improved a lot. I was getting outcomes of 14 kills and 3 deaths. My teams were winning thanks to me helping out. I wasn't always on top, but we always won. My K/D went from .8 to 1.9, I felt better about my contribution. Then, things started going downhill. I was focusing on my scores again, and things declined. This morning, I played 6 games. My team lost all of them, and I didn't have less than 10 deaths in each matchup. I feel this is due to a multitude of things, but I'm not one to make excuses. I need to quite worrying about my stupid regen requirements, stop worrying about my K/D, and start playing to win again.
My worries, however, may be unfounded, but I'll get to that in a moment. The reason I was worried was due to my want of becoming a pro in Titanfall. I see people wanting to judge skill instead of team play, focusing on things like what gen you are and how good your aim is. My aim is actually not bad, but my decision making is not the greatest in terms of what to do next. I need structure, I need a team environment and a plan to move forward with. I can't be the guy who just runs around with total freedom. That was no more prominent than last Thursdays CGN, where we went 0-4 with myself, Quixitas and several others. We were just completely decimated. It was bad.
We figured it out soon enough...we weren't playing as a team. Everyone was running around trying to get the caps, trying to get the most kills, trying to up their own score. My wanting to prove myself was in full effect, and in turn, I showed that when I am out to make myself look better instead of helping my team win, bad things happen. If there was a way to disable the scoreboard during play, that would be fantastic. I shouldn't worry how many kills I personally have gotten, but need to worry how many more my team needs to win, or how many flag runs, or how many more point caps do we need.
I was in a good mindset for Saturday's CGN. I knew we needed to go in with a plan and stick to it. But then, no one showed up. After about 45 minutes, Oompa showed up, and we played a couple matches, but I think we both were in just a bleh state that we both turned the game off and called it a night. And this is where my unfounded worries came into play.
I have been so set on becoming a pro, on getting to that point. But who is playing on PC right now? There are a few of us, sure, and we are good, especially together. However, is that enough to make a team? Is it enough to change the landscape back? I dunno. I see things posted for the X1 all the time. Team building, rule sets, etc. It seems competitive play, real competitive pro level play, is dead on PC. It's healthy, even thriving in the console world...but I'm not a console player. I'm a PC player. Always have been.
Should I get an X1 and get used to a new style of play? Maybe. But I want to do this on PC. The days of Quake and UT are dead and gone. I can't expect that heyday of a real competitive scene for this style of game anywhere but console.
Now, please understand, I'm not being a Negative Nancy here (did I really just say that?!?) I'm not trying to say that because PC competitive scene is dead that I'm giving up. I'm not. If anything, it makes me want it more. Now I have something more to fight for, a reason to get better. We have a fantastic opportunity to rebuild a dying platform of competitive gaming that has been taken over by MOBA style games (not that there is anything wrong with that ). We have the ability to help build a community that used to thrive. We are starting on the ground floor staring directly at the prize, all we have to do is take it and run.