I sit here, keyboard at my fingertips, and I'm trying to find the words to describe my last 7 days in L.A. Surely, going from looking at a sun soaked valley, to an iced stained window has its saddening attributes.
"Of all the things that wisdom provides for living one's entire life in happiness, the greatest by far is the possession of friendship." -Epicurus*. I cannot stress this idea more, finding people to truthfully call a friend is hard to come by. For me personally, I had never really experienced true friendship until now. Most of my past was filled with fizzled friendships which explains my inability to take something at face value. I hope this sheds some light on why I avoid people. I hope you didn't take it to heart, as my questioning as to what is implied in conversation drives me to insanity. Jerry was able to figure this out after asking me one single question,"Who do you consider to be your best friend?". I really didn't have an answer for this, I could not think of one person whom I've ever thought as a best friend. Before vVv gaming, I preferred a life of solitude as human interaction was as tedious for me as someone might feel when writing lines for bad behavior. Which explains why I always avoid petty conversation.
Small talk was probably the thing I hated the most. Due to its way of focusing on what people thought was socially right to say; rather than discussing about themselves or ideas. As a child, I tried creating conversations about ideas or about things learned. To my dismay, most kids and even parents thought I was a "know it all". I then understood that the discussion of ideas wasn't for everyone. So I spent most of my years in quiet solitude. Surprisingly, the small talk coming from people who are true to themselves is quite interesting.
What the vVv gaming HQ has shown me is that small talk between close friends is a way to find and explore more about each other. To laugh at each others quirks and help fix each others poor attributes. I believe vVv Gaming within itself is an extension of that.
Over the last week, my activity with the community has increased. I can say, I'm interested in how other people feel and interact. I enjoy helping others complete their goals and make something of nothing. What I didn't realize over the course of my lifetime is that I have a lot of empathy at my disposal. I'm able to sympathize with almost anyone, thinking of why they may feel this way or have done that. But as with my love for ideas, asking someone questions of why they are feeling a certain way and giving advice isn't within their best interest. So yes, most of my skills where for deeper human interaction then what was socially acceptable. The only way for me to actually use these abilities is when someone consciously comes to ask help from me.
The trip was definitely an enlightening one, not because of the hot California sun, but of Jerry's ability to really show who I really was. I hope, that by reading this you come to understand the impact that the people here at vVv gaming have on us. Take every opportunity vVv gaming gives you, it will be a rewarding journey for anyone brave enough to take the first step.
Good Luck in your vVv Gaming travels!
If ever you need to run an idea by someone, you know where to look.
* pg.73 in "The Essential Epicurius" by Eugene O'Conor