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Beating the Rage Plague

vVv WaKai

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Rage causes loss of focus and careless mistakes. A great way to remove anger and increase your ability to perform as a gamer is through the removal of expectation. Removing this is not an easy task, but the following will give you the tools to succeed in learning this skill.

The Expectation Decoupling

Has there been a time when something didn't go as planned, when something didn't go as expected or a team that abided completely to the definition of noob? What I've come to learn is that expectations are the gateway to anger. They are tricky as it's second nature to have these thoughts. I believe where the real avoidance of anger lies is in the acceptance. This acceptance comes before and after the match. In that this acceptance is not born of defeat, but of clarity. By accepting this it frees up the mind of doubt, anger and frustration. Instead, this energy is used to focus on what to do in order to bring out the win. Getting to this stage of acceptance is something that comes with practice, consciously grounding the expectations so that it can't make a bad situation worse.

It than becomes a fight of reminding before and after the game that this is merely noise. Similarly to how a picture is made up of millions of dots that when looked at closely seemingly have no meaning. Much like farming or landing skill shots, this only comes with practice. I can't say exactly what will create this attitude of acceptance and clarity. More in that I'm not a mind reader and as I've said before, there's no a-b-down-right-a cheat code that... TA-DA instant acceptance. It's more that I can give a goal for anyone to work towards. Much like working toward having 80 farm at 10 minutes.

Why Accepting works

At the very core, it removes any illusions a person may have of their standing. We can think of this as a ground- up approach. If we think of ourselves higher than we actually are, and reality comes around and slaps us in the face, we are negatively affected. A person that is grounded cannot be affected by any external changes, be it from a stock market crash, to a 5 game losing streak. Similarly, it's about accepting that a 5 game winning streak does not mean you're unstoppable. Merely that fortune was smiling on you for those 5 games.

More On Fortune

Fortune is closely related to expectations, as this is what expectations are born from. It is an external affect that determines if one gets good or bad teammates. In that we can consider a poor person un-fortunate and a rich one fortunate. We can beat fortune through acceptance, it than becomes as if one is watching a video and commenting on it. It no longer is, "why the fuck did this happen to me?", but that of, "Oh this happened to me".

Expectations, Acceptance and Fortune

By accepting that fortune can be a bitch, one removes expectations from ones thoughts. As it no longer becomes a struggle to push those ideas away. In that it is now a funnel for improvement, problem solving and enjoyment.


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I just finished reading the article, and here are my thoughts

The fact that i have to pay to continue reading the article is honestly such a fraud. These things have been taught for millions of years by stoics, Taoists and religion.  It makes me cringe when she said "The prevailing wisdom says that difficult thoughts and feelings have no place at the office: Executives, and particularly leaders, should be either stoic or cheerful; they must project confidence and damp down any negativity bubbling up inside them. " 

Revealing the fact that she has no idea what stoicism is(, and that this is honestly not a prevailing wisdom, but that of a default setting that society has put on us through repetitive enforcement by influential figures. No, it's about breaking the social conventions that hold us back. 

 

They have " Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)", while it may work, it's a way for them to take advantage of people's insecurity. When they are perfectly able to do it on their own, they just need to work at it. 

 

I just feel disgusted right now that these people have the audacity to take advantage of others vulnerability. In other words, taking advantage of others miss fortunes. When "emotional agility" can be taught in one blog post, by a 18 year old reading books of ideas that surfaced millions of years ago. Makes me think these people are wasting their time, and the patients time.  It's like these people think a person needs to hold their patients hand through every situation. In that they're catching the fish and giving it to them( and charging them for it), rather than teaching them how to fish. It just goes to show how blatantly ridiculous their approaches to solving these problems are. 

Yeah by now I guess realize that harvard is not a place that I particularly respect.  

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I was honestly just referring to this part:

Recognize your patterns. In what instances does your thinking become rigid and repetitive, playing like a broken record you’ve heard time and time again? That’s a telltale sign that you’ve been hooked by a thought or feeling.

Label your thoughts and emotions. This allows you to see them as they are: transient sources of data that may or may not prove helpful. Taking this “helicopter view” of your emotions simplifies them; it turns the thought “My coworker is wrong—he makes me so angry,” into “I’m having the thought that my coworker is wrong, and I’m feeling anger.”

Accept feelings with an open attitude. They may be signaling that something important is at stake, like your values. This gives you the chance to act on them.

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The best part, is that emotions are among the few things that are 100% controllable by you. While we cannot control the intent and actions of others, we can definitely control our response. Always. Removing the "something MAKES me feel" a certain way is the beginning to being able to deal better with those outside influences. Once we put oureslves in control of our reception and responses to the world around us, our confidence can start to grow. It becomes less about reacting to things we think are bad, and more about responding in the proper method to keep things in a better state. Mute and ignore buttons work wonders in this regard. 

 

Also, removing the concept of people being able to be "better" than one another is a good direction to head in. People are more capable at certain things, but capability can be learned and practiced to become stronger at a given thing. Better tends to be a very finite definition of being, and also very subjective. What food is better is an unanswerable question, as everyone will have separate views. Same with most instances of "better". "More or less capable" is a better foundation for growth, rather than ego abuse. Again, once you realize that your capabilities are what place you up or down a ladder, you will start to find yourself more in control of your growth. Makes it easier to learn more, or quit a thing based on what your actual view of your abilities are.

 

Both of these concepts help deal with abusive behavior that is focused on you from outside forces. Remembering to use them is the tough part. It's easy to get wrapped up in the emotional tides of things like gaming or whatever and simply forget to control yourself. I have found that taking a moment to remember all this not only helps me to deal better with other's actions, but to help control my own. I don't lash out very often, and I soak up quite a bit more without the anger taking over. 

Great subject, thanks for the info. 

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